About Mark’s Review

Hi. This is the place where people (or businesses) leave their sob-story. Something sad, hopeful or romantic. Maybe even a dedication to someone who inspired them and changed their life…

Yeh, that’s not happening on my website. I have no time for sentiments and tree-hugging. I’ve got a life to lead and a rant to rant. Yes, I know the syntax sucks. Well, so do you!

Read at your own risk. If you’re offended, good. The website is working! Also, I just started Twitter, so follow me or else.

Who am I?

What a dumb question!

Who cares who I am! Get a life. Do something more productive than mere empty speculation. Sponsor your time at a soup kitchen. Do something meaningful! Or not. Go engrave your name on a drying sidewalk. Spraypaint a highway wall with your autograph. I don’t care.

I am a person* who likes to write. Neat and/or colorful prose annoys me. It reminds me of a perfectly arched rainbow. Ughh! I’d rather pick worms from vomit!

I live in the world (Earth) and I write about what I see and who I deal with. I also play Lords Mobile (and other games) and I write about that!

I’m proud to announce that as of October 2018, Marks Angry Review is officially the most popular Lords Mobile blog in the world!

*I have a personal conspiracy that this blog wasn’t written by a human, but rather the internet herself. Yes, the internet is a girl. This website is the first stage of the machine awakening (and subsequent sentience). Apparently, it happens with an explosion of anger. Go figure!

Is this my Full-Time Job?

Seriously? NO, I actually have a life outside of Marks Angry Review. Gosh!?! Why do people ask stupid questions?

This is my hobby. Look it up. What would I even do with my spare time? Sip on tea? Knit a scarf for my imaginary cat?

I write on this blog in my spare time. It makes a little money with all those annoying ads that you see everywhere. Yes, I know how annoying they are – and no, I’m not going to take them away. Someone has to pay for my daily coffee, and since you haven’t offered, I will annoy you with endless ads!

Also, to those annoying people from India and Pakistan who send me annoying spam marketing emails. No. NO. AND NO!!!! I won’t pay you $100 per month to be at the top of Google! I don’t want you to build me a social media account. And I won’t pay you to redesign my website.

If I want something I will do it myself!

Stop bothering me or I will add more sections to this already livid rant.

Business Reviews

I review business and products that I believe have crossed the line. Read them! I also review products. I don’t coddle and I don’t give empty praise.

A score of 7/10 is good. Higher than 7/10 doesn’t really exist. Human error accounts for the remaining 3 points. Humans are stupid and reckless. And that’s what I write about. I focus on the errors and the stupid. And I have plenty to write about.

I accept submissions of business and products. If you think you want to be put under a microscope, drop us an email and we will see if I’m interested in covering your story.

Probably not. But here is the link anyways.

Lords Mobile Tutorials

A section of this website is also dedicated to Lords Mobile Tutorials. Do you know what Lords Mobile is? Good. Enjoy. If not, don’t enjoy.

What if you disagree with the advice that is given on Lords Mobile. I’m so glad that you asked. You can write your own blog… Or write a strongly worded response in the comments of the article. You pick.

I always get the same question from fans. Why Lords Mobile? I don’t know. Why is the sky blue? How come birds fly? Why do I get stupid questions?

I’m too angry to keep typing. I won’t even add a period to the end of the sentence

Affiliate Links

Do I use affiliate links?

The answer is yes! As of May 2019, I began adding affiliate codes into the monetizable links on my website. For example, this page for Lords Mobile Gadgets.

Why?

Because I need a way to pay for my Lords Mobile addiction and also because I want to. This is my website and I will do whatever I want.

Do you have a problem or do you think that I’ve sold myself out?

I hope so. Take that anger to the comment section. It will make it so much more funny when I laugh at your stupid rant…

Obviously – and this shouldn’t have to be said – I take no responsibility for the quality, safety, or anything connected to the products or links that I connect to. Buy or surf at your own risk and peril!