This may come as a surprise to many, but there are some players who come to Lords Mobile to fine-tune their trolling skills. Most come to play, but some are just trolls. And Lords Mobile is a beehive of fun for the professional troll.
I always say, “Go big or go home” and so I will now give you an authoritative tutorial on how to drive the other members of Lords Mobile up the wall.
Begging for Guild Mates to Join Your Guild
This is nothing more endearing than a good nudge in the right direction. If the nudge presents itself as a constant stream of pesky solicitations – all the better. People want a reminder to do what is right. Your harassment is basically a public service.
The Overlord of your Kingdom should really be paying you to drop the 100’s of messages on the Kingdom Chat.
Other ways to solicit guild members:
- Ask for random people’s emails and phone numbers. Send them a lot of messages. Also, add them up to mailing lists of deals and promotions. People love that! Also, go and visit their houses. You can even bring a boombox outside their house.
- Reddit. Powerful players scour the Lords Mobile Reddit in search of guilds to join. If you can convince them that you are “a friendly and happy environment for fun and happy gamers” they will come flocking to your guild! Imagine having 1-billion Might player in your guild? Well, that’s how it’s done!
- Go to the Diplomacy Board of the bigger guilds. Try and steal their members. The more messages you write, the more impressed they will be.
- WeGamers is a great way to catch some fresh fish. There are 100,000’s of players waiting for someone to beg them to join. All you need to do is ask.
Spamming Scouts and Occupying Nearby Spots
Nothing says “finesse” like sending 200 scouts to someone’s castle. If you have someone that you want to annoy, send scouts to his castle. But don’t stop. Just keep going. And going.
If he burns you, even better. Keep sending.
Your enemy can burn your castle to the ground, but he can’t stop your scouts from visiting. After an hour of constant scouting, you are going to wear him down. The flashing red may even trigger an epileptic episode.
Another fantastic trick is to send troops to occupy land nearby your enemy. There are a few tricks to the art of troll-occupation:
- Surrounding the enemy castle with your troops (kinda boring)
- Fill up spots in their guild hive with your camped troops (fun, but they will burn your troops when they get annoyed)
- Move your castles into their hive and shield (really fun, especially if you can keep it going for days or weeks)
- Draw inappropriate pictures with your troops (almost as much fun as unlocking T4)
- Write inappropriate words with your troops (eternal bliss)
Too Much Info (TMI)
People may say, “please don’t share that detail in public” but I know (and now you know) that they are lying. Everyone wants to know everything about every detail of your life.
- Bowel movements? Yes
- Period schedule? YES
- Your social security number? HECK YES!!!!!
There is no such thing as too many details. If you can convince the R4’s and R5 to put your personal information onto the Diplomacy board than you are a real winner.
Also – and I can’t stress this enough – because Lords Mobile is more important than real life it is incumbent on everyone to share deeply intimate and personal matters of your life in the chat. Who needs a therapist when you can literally ask your guildmate for advice? Why waste money on an accountant if your guildmate knows how to find awesome deductions?
Are members of the guild qualified to give life advice?
This is a great question. I’m glad you asked! There are three criterias to determining if you should listen to advise from random members of your guild:
- You need to feel particularly vulnerable at the time
- The advice giver should ideally be an R4 or an R5
- The advice-giver needs to talk/text with an authoritative tone. If they start their answer in the chat with “maybe”, “perhaps”, “I think” or even “in my opinion” you should ignore their opinion completely. Otherwise, accept whatever they say.
Passive Aggressive Attacks
A great way to annoy people is with some good-old passive aggression. The best scenario would be to set up the attack long in advance.
Start dropping hints in the chat of triggers. Basically use some basic foreshadowing. Something like: “I wish you would talk with that tone” or “I feel a lot of hate hidden under your words”.
When they ask you to explain, you need to remain ambivalent and/or dismissive. Don’t explain or give any definitive answers.
With time, slowly amp up the passive-aggressive attacks. Start to complain about people attacking you. Don’t show any anger. Just send out long and angry emails about how people attitudes are making you feel isolated. NEVER – and I repeat – NEVER actually point to a particular event.
If you mention a particular event, you have automatically lost. Never ever do that. Just focus on how you feel.
This technique is guaranteed to drive your guild members nuts. It’s most effective when the people in your guild actually care about you.
You also receive extra points if you can split the whole guild into two halves (for and against you).
The Golden Crown goes to one who manages to leave the guild in ball of fire and blood!
Yay. You won the base. It was a lot of hard work, accompanied by 3 years of strategy, and topped off with $4m of your father’s hard earned savings. Yay! You are a hero! The Nobel Peace Prize is too small for you.
Now you need to annoy people! That is your official job as Overlord. You need to remind people for the next 5 days just how bad it was to burn your troops over the past few years.
There are a few tasks that you must do. Missing even one of these and your chances of winning the Base again are almost impossible.
- Send announcement from the Base. Messages about love and happiness are the best. Ideally, the message should be written in a foreign language. If you only know English, please translate your message into Chinese before publishing. Something like this is a good idea: Peace and Love are midnight light of swan’s breath today and always. We conquered the Kingdom but hearts eat joy and glee together today!
- Titles. It is imperative that the Overlord confuses both his allies and friends with the titles. His friends need to get a few bad titles and his enemies need to have a few good titles. If people understand the methodology behind the reward-punishment system it may cause an uprising. Keep them guessing.
- Threats. What is the use of being the Overlord if you can’t threaten the plebs and simpletons? Make sure that you send as many scary emails as possible. If you’re sending out less than 10 per day, you are doing something very wrong!
Applying to Guilds
This tip is really fun! Yes, really fun.
Lords Mobile has been around for a while. Guild-mates have developed real friendships and
Trying to join a successful guild is more challenging than getting into an Ivy League College. And the attitude you’ll get when you try and join is what you’d expect from airport security. Your reply will be nasty, curt, and filled with hate.
This is all assuming that you actually want to get into the guild.
What if you just want to annoy them?
Well, that’s a different story. Here are the best way to troll a guild:
- Write a lot of messages on the Guild Diplomacy Board. Guild members hate it when people spam their wall.
- Ignore the criteria mentioned on Guild Information. If they want you to apply in Battle Gear, make sure that you have your Construction Gear.
- Send messages to the R1’s and R2’s and get them to try and get you in. It may create all types of internal drama.
- Send 10’s of messages to all the members begging them to accept you.
Play the game and enjoy. Or annoy people and enjoy.
I really don’t care. I’m not your therapist.
Go get a therapist.